DOH!?!

Ok, so I had an interesting experience today. I went to Lowe’s with a friend to pick out a mini-fridge. And while I was there I noticed that all these mini-fridges has locks and keys. This is my conversation:

Me: Cool a lock on the fridge. What a great way to stop eating…
SPE: No it’s in case a child gets locked inside.
Me: How can a child get locked inside? How cool is it you can lock yourself or someone else from eating your food.
SPE: Again, it’s in case a child accidentally gets locked in?
Me: That can’t be possible…

Apparently this is quite possible. Hence the need for a lock just in case a small child becomes trapped inside one of the units. Confused and saddened by the fact I couldn’t lock others or myself from eating the contents, I began reflecting on this situation. What would prompt small children from wanting to put themselves in a small fridge to chill? A penguin yes, a small child I’m not really buying it…

When I was little I wanted to explore and experience life. Which usually meant I was doing some daredevilish type things, many of which were outside. Some examples of my brilliance were, but were not limited to: Stoop/Stair Jumping…Fence Scaling/Scrapping… Danger Creeking (where I was told specifically not to venture to)…Access/No Access that caused being stuck on a fire escape or setting off alarms…But I’ve digressed.

Surprisingly enough I decided against attempting to chill out in a refrigerator. Guess it was a bit too frigid and cramped.

The again times have changed since I was a kid. Many kids I know spend way more time inside then I ever did, so a fridge might be a logical choice. But many of these kids are quite tech savvy online e-mailing, instant messaging or text messaging via the cell. So I’m still not buying that theory.

Yet with all this technology and knowledge we still consistently are doing even dumber things. I remember a few years back when McDonalds warned customers “Coffee is extremely hot!”

Like DOH!?!

Why on earth wouldn’t folks realize coffee is hot? It can’t get simpler then that. Since man started brewing the bean in water over an open flame I’m sure many folks realized it was no longer going to be a cold beverage. I guess a few folks missed that memo or the experience of a burnt tongue.

So in case you missed it, here is my simple reminder - “Danger Will Robinson, Warming a cool liquid makes it a tad bit hot, sip carefully (this includes, but is not limited to tea, coffee, hot chocolate, cider, etc.”

Then we have Mr. Bubble telling us that his bubble bath is “Not intended for Human Consumption.” Or even Drano taking action by saying to customers that it’s clog remover is “Harmful if swallowed. Do not taste or swallow.” or “Do not reuse empty container. Rinse container and replace cap before discarding.”

Double DOH!?!

Yes, it’s true that once upon a time angry parents washed mouths out with soap, but that practice is so outdated. And although many clogs happen in the human body, Drano is not the means to clean that system. It’s only common sense to know that today’s soaps and clog removers shouldn’t be ingested for fun and games. There’s about a gazillion terrible potent chemicals that could kill a small heard of animals or a human if ingested…

Which leads me to say out loud, “yeah maybe a small child shouldn’t be cooling off inside a mini-fridge.” But do we really need a set of keys to unlock the door or warning sign for to know that. It should be common sense like my coffee is going to be hot, my bubbles are meant for that bath or that Drano is meant to clear my shower drain.

Alas though I’ve learned a valuable lesson. Next time I do decide to play hide and seek with some kids I just might carry the fridge keys around on my fob. You never know when they might think it’s brilliant place to chill.