6.26.2006

Don’t Leave Me High, Don’t Leave Me Dry...

“You'd kill yourself for recognition. Kill yourself to never ever stop. You broke another mirror. You're turning into something you are not.” - Radiohead

Maybe the best thing for me to do would be to stop listening to music that causes me to ponder to deeply, but let’s face it - that will never happen. Music is a part of my life. Always has been and always will be. I’m tuning in when I get ready, in the car, almost all day at work. And even if it’s not playing out loud that doesn’t mean I don’t have a song playing in my head.

Even today I sit at my desk grappling with my mounting assignments, deadlines and thoughts of the unknown. Songs randomly shuffle through my ipod as background. Then occasionally things happen, like a wave of emotion suddenly rushes over me.

Sometimes this can be wonderful. Ya know I will hear something I haven’t heard in a while and my whole attitude will change. It can make me smile and get me to secretly be dancing in my chair. It can make me think back onto a fun memory associated with a tune. Other times I hear songs and it floods my mind with thoughts like “what are you doing?” or “where are you going?”

It was not long ago I was sitting behind a similar desk in Georgia (and for the record it was cluttered chaos too) churning out work. Wondering who I was going to be in 5 years, but not having a clue. Thinking if I could just be down the road onto the next thing I would be able to prove myself. I could be that something or someone. Now it’s beyond that 5-year mark and I’m not sure I’ve blazed anymore of a path then when I started. Could it be that I’m like this Radiohead song spinning my wheels (sometimes selflessly) for something that I’m never going to quite be? Thus setting myself up to be left “High & Dry”?

I’ll continue to ponder this concept and other thoughts as I motor along through my working days contemplating what’s in store for my life.

2 comments:

NYC TAXI SHOTS said...

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H. Pierre Schlomo Presley said...

I have always loved the way that you allow music to be a part of who you are. I'm just learning to do that myself and it adds so much to life! You are not high and dry, my friend. And you're not in the same situation as 5 years ago. Then, your job was consuming and sucky. Now your job may be sucky but you have an entire life built up outside of the office. Keep on truckin' pal.

(loved the Goonies reference!)